Its been a few weeks, mainly because I have had a-lot to deal with here at home, Covid, kids and their fathers and my husbands rather prolonged critical illness meant that the last week I was in a state of anxiety, forcing myself to literally not did myself a hole or try to shut off completely. Still my mind knew to push on through. It fought hard, but not being a quitter, I focused and now it is Friday and I have gotten straight, all is well in the house and calmer and more relaxed.
What I have noticed is how much the anxiety I felt was triggered by emotions that ghosted from my past relationship and its destructive nature and so I made some decisions to stop that from happening .
This week has been better, being back at college although it took some bravery was ok, I went with the flow, focusing on creating the planner so I can slot in work and give myself enough time to complete course to the best of my ability. I also had my first catch up with the HE disability support team and stated the process or ordering the support stuff and then moving onto the AIM group IQA and block in dates for live shows and pencil in enquiries about design concepts for a series of platinum jubilee events so all in all I feel a bit better. So now I have the headspace to think of the theme and parameters of subject matter I engage with on a fundamental level.
Started looking at spirals again, the constancy of them is quite marvellous.